Holy Saturday, ApriL 7

Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion?

—Psalm 77:9

The saying is familiar: “When it rains, it pours.” Our lives can sometimes feel like a sodden dishrag being squeezed and painfully twisted to extricate every last trace of moisture. We, like the disciples on the day after the Crucifixion, feel as if heaven has closed its door, shut down its communication tower, and left us alone to battle the demons that are attacking us on every side. We feel abandoned, left to tumble into the abyss from which there is no release. Relentless questions clutter and clamor inside our mind. We want to know why it has happened, why God has withdrawn care and compassion from us. We wonder why we encounter such suffering if God loves us, or why God does not unravel the knotted threads that have a hold on our life, our heart, our soul.

Our prayer is often more for answers to the questions than for freedom from our suffering. Even when no answers come, God’s ear is open to our cry. Always God sees our suffering and weeps.

God does not leave us alone and solitary to endure the painful events that randomly sweep through our lives, even when it feels to us that God has become silent. It is in those moments, when it seems heaven is deaf to our lament, that our soul is made ready to trust in the truth of, rather than the sound of, God’s voice. It is in those moments that our soul is most ready to see miracles unfolding in our lives. It is in those moments that we are closest to the gate of heaven.

—Renée Miller


2012 Lenten Meditations, Episcopal Relief and Development

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